Hi, my name is Andrew and I live in Oxford, England. I have been asked to write about my experience of homelessness and the process of getting out of it. This is not an academic paper so there will not be endless quotes and citations, merely, my experience and that of others I have met along the way. At the end of this post, there will be some suggested articles for further reading. I hope you find this informative and that it will encourage you to help those in need and the charities that support them.
The Beginning
It all started in a comfortable middle-class way. No this is not a story of a bad sink estate or being thrown out by uncaring parents. The point of mentioning this is it can happen to anyone, at any time of life and from pretty much any background. This is important because it is so easy to stereotype people. My mental health had probably been affected from an early age but I had no clue about that. If you cannot walk properly, people spot it and you would certainly know about it yourself. One way or another you would get help and, in this country, it is usually pretty fast and pretty good.
No, the problem with mental health is, with certain exceptions, it is not always very obvious or at least you can ignore it. You put on a brave face, you lock things down and you certainly don’t talk about it. Not from my generation anyway. Oh, I am in my sixties by the way. Mental health is something you are unlikely to make a big thing about at least publicly. After all, it might affect your career, promotion, opportunities. What will my colleagues and bosses be thinking if they knew? So, you keep quiet, you soldier on. Things are buried and fester deep inside.
Fortunately, things are changing and this is a message to the world, accept and show understanding, compassion and support just as you would for someone with a bad back, broken leg or a migraine. Don’t make people feel alienated and certainly don’t put people down and pick on them. You will affect not only the person you target but you will make others less willing to be open and frankly you are likely to affect yourself too.
Things came apart and very obviously so, a little over eight years back and I shut down. I was unable to communicate. When I say this let me be very clear. I could talk to people but I could not ask for help. I denied anything was wrong and was consequently trapped. Part of me knew something was desperately wrong whilst at the same time, I could do absolutely nothing. It is actually pretty frightening being trapped in your head like this. We can all imagine what it might be like to be trapped in a building after an earthquake. Some reading this might have experienced it. But at least you are aligned in mind and body to getting out even if you feel the situation is hopeless. People will be trying to find you. When you are locked away in your mind it is a bit like that without the prospect of any help. People who are asked about you might say things like “He kept himself to himself” or “I had no idea. He never said anything”, “He should have said something”, “He should have called the doctor”. Well for most of the last eight years I ceased to be able to even use a phone without someone there.
Well to cut a long story short, I eventually went downhill and my world came apart. I lost, along the way, the ability to work, to operate as I had done, to maintain friends, to look after myself. My home was gone and so were my records – we will come back to this later. I got to the point I did not want contact with people. I felt great shame that I had “lost control”. After all, this cannot happen to someone with a good education and a good mind – can it? Yes, it can and does!
A note from Expert Link
Expert Link network member, Andrew, has given permission to share his name and story in five parts, one each day across the week to mark #WorldHomelessDay and #WorldMentalHealthDay. Sign up to the mailing list to get the links to the full 5 part series:
- My journey with mental health and homelessness
- Sleeping on benches
- Getting help with homelessness and mental health
- Mental health and homelessness – How can government and services help?
- Involving Lived Experience to end homelessness
Suggested Reading
The Kerslake Commission on Homelessness and Rough Sleeping – Progress Report September 2022
CRISIS – All-Party Parliamentary Group for Ending Homelessness
St Mungos – Stop The Scandal [Focus is on Mental Health & Rough Sleeping]
St Mungos – Article In Support of the Kerslake Report
Please Note: At Expert Link, we strive to amplify the voices of those within our communities. The views represented in this blog represent the individual author independently and not Expert Link as a whole.
