The Letting Go Syndrome...
Unfortunately I have never had kids but I do know quite a lot about them having been one myself, some may argue that I still am at heart, and having listened to the endless stories from parents about their own offspring.
It seems to me that there are a number of times during the lives of children that parents find challenging, Christmas, first day at school, first job, etc etc. But the one that strikes me now is the one about letting your kids “Go” so that they can learn to grow and become whole. You hear so many stores about parents not being able to let go or becoming over protective all to the detriment of the child.
I guess on some levels I get that, we probably all can because we have all had something in our lives however small that we don’t want to let go of, even when we know that it’s the best thing. Right now I am struggling to beat the letting go syndrome of others, let me explain…
Every Peer Support Group that I have spoken to directly has been incredibly enthusiastic about Expert Link, they want to be a part of it and they want to see it grow. They are keen to be involved at these early stages so that they can be a part of the process that sets the values and principles of Expert Link, which is great.
Perhaps through naivety or wanting to take Service Providers along on this journey of growth I have been trying to contact PSG’s through the services that facilitate or host them and unfortunately it hasn’t been easy.
There are a number of different responses that I am getting, the first is “sounds Ok but can you send us something through so that we can have a meeting to decide whether it is something that we want to get involved in..” This is great gate keeping but surely it is the PSG who need to be deciding if THEY want to be involved and not you their host. Another is “great… sounds good…. Well done David… Blah Blah… and of course we will let you know”, and I am still waiting. There could be a number of reasons why, but ultimately if they wanted to see the PSG they host become involved they could and would.
Ironically it is the groups where the host have let go and allowed them to make mistakes as they develop that have the strongest groups. They have matured into well-formed groups that can make decisions about their future without the parents (hosts) and have learnt to use the skills and tools that they have to mutual benefit which is so empowering.
All of this could be wrong of course, and all those wonderful providers and hosts out there could have a multitude of very reasonable explanations as to why they appear to be suffering from that terrible affliction “not letting go syndrome”. I may also be right and if I am can I encourage you “parents” out there to shake this syndrome off and let go, because once you do you will be able to watch your kids grow and become empowered and just thing how satisfying that will be.